Fics like wouldn't it be sad if i hadn't met you at all?

So Ben was not coming to Christmas. Was not gonna be around for New Years. Whatever. It’s December 20th. Sort of. The 21st, if we’re being technical. Matt moved out of his dorm last night with Kyle’s resistant assistance, and he’s lying in bed, staring up at his ever so familiar popcorn ceiling, thinking. He’s got a real gripe with that. Thinking. It should not be so easy to keep the shit inside alive. Spiraling should be more effortful, not a mode to slip into all unaware and clumsy. One thought jumps to another, rocks in a lake, contact tepid at best. Matt spirals like second nature. First nature. It happens without permission; the car swerves right when his hands drop contact with the wheel. There are decisions to be made. Winter Break is the time for decisions.

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