Fics like Meet the Waynes

“I’m happy but I think that we need to establish a baseline of knowledge first. I’ve brought something along with me today,” Dick says, reaching into his bag. Jon swallows, waiting for him to produce either an escrima stick, knife or all of the above. Instead, what he pulls out is a small paperback. It’s got a cartoonish drawing of a boy and girl kissing on the front, the whole thing done in jarringly bright colors. “This is ‘Kylie’s First Kiss’.” Jon realizes with the slow-motion that accompanies most horror films that it is a picture book for kissing. There are drawings. There are diagrams, detailing the anatomical structure of the human mouth because somehow that’s prerequisite knowledge for making out. Dick begins reading from the first page, unprompted. Or: Jon is having the best week of his life after asking his best friend out. If only the members of his boyfriend’s (!!!) family would stop kidnapping him.

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