Fics like god, you won’t forgive me
Mike's life is split in three categories; the life he should have, the life he wants to have, and the life he has to have. Currently, he's living in limbo between all three; he'll never have that white-picket fence and suburban wife, not when the only girl he could try to love has left him, and while he's finding it harder to live the life he has to have— the life where he hides himself so deep, not even the people he loves know who he is— he'll never get the life he wants, either. Limbo sucks, to put it simply. He's so close to what he wants (which is Will, no matter how hard he tries to shove it down) but he just can't push past that barrier and talk to Will, not when everything he does always feels wrong. But, maybe, Mike might come to learn that what he wants isn’t so bad, after all. (Or; Mike's struggle with his internalized homophobia— among other things, including the concept of free will, Robin Buckley's mildly terrifying presence, and wanting things Mike's sure he doesn't deserve— structured around the five stages of grief. You can mourn a life you'll never live, and you can mourn someone you haven't actually lost.)
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