Fics like Fuck me up, baby, bring your friends

What if Dirk and Harper broke up and Dirk decided to actually sleep with the Hanks out of spite? • Dirk sighed, slightly disappointed in himself that he'd reached the point in his life where he was venting to coat hangers about his shitty relationship, but he decided to continue nonetheless. What's the worst thing that could happen? "Well it's just my girlfriend-" Dirk paused, mentally scolding himself before correcting his slip up, "My Ex-girlfriend, is an absolute fucking lunatic! you know why? She thinks I'm hooking up with you! All of you!" Dirk exclaimed exharphatedly, "Like, how out of it do you have to be? Obviously I'm not fucking doing that, even though I kind of wish I was-" Dirk cut himself off. Apparently, that was the worse thing that could happen. .

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