Fics like It really is the end of the world (not)

Tom, the vampire, claims that through his bite Harry has become his thrall. Harry, the fae, claims that Tom has consumed fae food without his permission so is bound to serve him. A lawyer is called upon to straighten out the problem. The lawyer casually declares Harry Potter and Tom Riddle bonded in matrimony (gasp....married). Harry tries to kill Tom—and fails spectacularly. Tom finds this utterly endearing.

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