Fics like kill your darlings

The Duchess Approves is terrible. He wants to bleach every brick of his body just to purify himself of this three hour experience. He wants to pluck out his eyeball and treat it to a ten-day spa as reparations. He demands a sequel from the Axolotl during their next therapy session. The Axolotl tilts their head. “There's no sequel. Only one movie has ever been made.” Bill glowers. “But what happens after?” “Production went into debt after casting big name Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble,” the Axolotl answers sadly. “Rumor has it he charges fifty thousand per letter.” “Wonderful,” Bill drawls. “Real useful information. So what am I supposed to do now, doc?” The Axolotl’s eyes gleam suspiciously. “I suppose there’s always fanfiction.” Or: Bill hates a certain fanfic author almost as much as he hates the man who killed him. Crazy, wouldn't it be, if the two were the same person.

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