Fics like everything's weird and we're always in danger

It's entirely Sam's fault that Bucky's first thought on realizing he’s been captured by vampires is: well, these guys aren't part of the big three. His second thought is: if vampires have been a thing all this time and no one fucking told me, I'm going to be so pissed. What the fuck else is real? Fairies? Wolfmen? Goddamn Sasquatch?? Bucky gets kidnapped by vampires, or maybe it's a surprise family reunion instead. When Sam comes to the rescue, Bucky has to think fast to keep himself from being turned into a vampire, and to keep Sam safe in a castle full of vampires too. So naturally he decides that they should pretend to be married. If Sam's family too, and if Bucky and Sam have a beautiful love story, Great Uncle Yakov will have to let them go, safe and unvampired, right?

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