Fics like gasp of air (i am nothing)

Buck makes his way down the hallway silently – forcing himself not to poke his head into Christopher’s room one last time – and locks the door as he leaves. The sound of the deadbolt turning brings tears to his eyes. It just feels so final. It isn’t until he reaches the loft that he realizes the shirt he grabbed from the floor is Eddie’s. It smells like laundry detergent and cologne and smoke and something that’s unique to Eddie – a scent that Buck could recognize blind, could find his way to in a burning building. He leans against the door and cries, allows himself to mourn for Eddie and his team and his childhood and every other thing he’s fucked up because Evan Buckley is a great deal of things, but most of all he is a failure. -- Or: Forgiveness is not something that Evan Buckley is worthy of.

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