Fics like You Who Are My Home

"Two thousand miles and that's the greeting I get? So much for that famed Southern hospitality. Never mind, I'll help you get started: 'Hello, Brad. Good to see you. I would have returned your numerous emails or taken one of your plentiful phone calls, but I fell the other night when I was out cow-tipping with the boys, hit my head, and am now a fucking amnesiac."

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