Fics like 99 problems & the dog is all of them

"Jay, why's the floor so dirty?" Jay freezes once he hears the sound of his mom's voice. If she learns that he brought home a dog, she'll kill him. If she learns that he brought home a guy, he'll kill himself. The man – puppy, he's a puppy now – whimpers miserably once he picks up on Jay's distress, ears flat to his head, and attempts to climb the bathtub to give his face comforting licks. Or: Jay picks up a weird-looking puppy from the trashcans behind a barbecue restaurant. It's not a real puppy.

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