Fics like Casual Smooching, the Ascendancy of the Revolution, and Other Attainable Ends

In which Sasuke uses Orchimaru's 'timetravel?' jutsu and it ends up slingshotting them sideways (and upwards a little bit) instead of backwards. Now, Sasuke knows something about being an orphan with a fucked-up family, and Naruto knows a fair bit about how it feels for the whole world to hate you. They're definitely qualified to adopt these little fuckers. No, the kids don't get a say in it- why would they need to be consulted?

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