Fics like The Serpent of the Opera

"So. Part of the whole Phantom shtick is unhealthily fixating on a beautiful young ingénue." The Serpent pulled a grimace, or at least appeared to. Again, that blasted mask. "Very important, the League of Phantoms* has rules on it and everything. Demands at least an abduction or two within the first fiscal year, and I was rather behind, so-" *Yes, they unionise. The healthcare package is frankly breathtaking. "Well, then you've made a dreadful mistake! It surely can't have escaped your attention that I am NOT an ingénue!" Aziraphale flustered. "I'm sorry to inform you, dear boy, but you've kidnapped a forty-something bookkeeper who occasionally understudies the understudy of the third tree on the left!"

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