Fics like That Kind of Dream

Lying was not permitted in the Cloud Recesses and, after some profound introspection on his last birthday, Lan Wangji did his best not to lie to himself either. So Lan Wangji couldn’t tell himself he had never had thoughts like this about Wei Ying. He had been having them pretty consistently, in fact, since they had met four summers earlier. At fifteen he had been a maelstrom of hormones and confused emotions and he had reacted badly to the person who had inspired him to feel such unwelcome feelings. At sixteen, he had understood himself better but was not ready to accept it, and treated Wei Ying with cold politeness (which had honestly seemed to frustrate Wei Ying even more.) But now he was nineteen and in the process of realizing that it wasn’t a passing fancy he felt for Wei Ying. He was in love, really in love. Lan Wangji felt like he was at the beginning of a very long and impossibly painful journey, one that might last his entire life, of loving Wei Ying and never having him. ___ aka: super self-indulgent wangxian teen pining

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