Fics like no matter what

“You got a cat?” “No. I did not get a cat. I have a cat. I woke up this morning and it was in my house and when I asked my mom where it came from she laughed like I was kidding and when I said no, for real, when did we get this cat she looks at me like I’ve gone crazy and you know what she says?” “No?” he said, half into the pillow. “Five years ago,” she said. “So I think it’s pretty obvious what’s happened here.” In his three-quarters conscious state, it was in no way obvious what was going on. After an embarrassingly long couple of seconds, it clicked. “Oh – it happened again?”

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