Fics like catharsis

I’m rapidly coming to the realization that I don’t like fighting anyone other than Tyler. I’m putting words to what used to be an abstract string pull in my gut, telling me that what I’m doing isn’t really what I think I’m doing. This isn’t about the thrill of the scuffle, the catharsis I am experiencing is simply a watered down, repackaged dupe of the real deal. I am seeking a blow to my cheek that leaves me reeling so hard my body has no choice but to conjure up tears. There is a butterfly light thrill that shoots up my spine when Tyler twists his torso under mine and forces me off my feet with his entire body weight. These are dwindling highs. I need a higher dose every time, and there’s only so many ways to make lingering, full body contact as we try to beat each other into the floor. Fighting Tyler is losing its zeal, and I have no interest in any of the other idiots who crowd the basement every Saturday night.

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