Fics like it’s only fraud if you get caught

“The crime’s not alleged, dude,” Mikey says. “I’m literally watching you commit fraud, like. Right in front of me.” “And there is a very easy way to fix that,” Donnie announces, grandiose and like any turtle worth their salt. Hell, maybe even their pepper too. Their paprika. Their ground cloves. Their Red Robin spice mix. “Haven’t you heard the slogans? Taken a number of complex statistics completely out of context? Worked an angle for your own agenda? Crime begets crime, brother of mine!” —— Or: in which Donnie participates in an online auction

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