Fics like when life gives you lemons you establish dominance by swallowing them whole
Rei has always had a soft spot for strays, and Kazuki is finally ready to let him keep one. They are doing okay raising a toddler, surely a pet cannot be so much more difficult? Well trust Rei to pull a fast one on him and bring home not a dog, not a cat, not even a hamster, but a weird teenager with chainsaws for hands. "What if Denji skipped Makima's Trauma Central and instead got begrudgingly adopted by two struggling assassins?" asked no one ever. Yet, here I am, providing an answer.
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