Fics like Contract For The Care And Handling Of Leon Orcot, Homo Sapiens Sapiens

Rule 1: Believe in the noble spirit of your new pet’s heart. Rule 2: Keep your new pet well-fed and cared for. Rule 3: Never leave your pet without a proper farewell. If you break any of the terms of your contract, the shop will not be held liable for any of the consequences. -- “You should take better care of yourself, detective,” D scolds. “And besides, you know very well we only sell love and dreams.” “Not what you said when we were discussing that lizard,” Detective Orcot mutters under his breath, “or that man-eating fish, or those damned rabbits.” D nobly pretends not to hear any of it.

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