Fics like The Merc with a Beak

Wade Wilson is the best merc in the business, and he knows it. When he crosses the wrong kind of withered old lady—the magic kind—she curses him to regret his cockiness in the most literal way possible: By turning him into a cock. A rooster. A male hen, of the chicken variety. Peter Parker, grieving the loss of Aunt May and Uncle Ben, needs a change. That's what his grief counselor says, anyway. So he makes an impulsive and massive one: He buys a farm. He doesn't mean for it to turn in a rescue for broken things, he just... he can't help but love the animals that no one else wants. Thus, when he overhears a greasy, crude asshole trying to pawn off a rooster in the middle of a farmer's market, he doesn't hesitate. But there's something wrong with this rooster. It doesn't crow at sunrise—which is the only thing Peter expects a rooster would do—but it does holler its tail off whenever Peter bends over. And it follows him around and clucks like it's talking to him. And it's weirdly good at killing the vermin around the house. There's a mystery afoot. Peter's going to get to the bottom of it. (The Beauty and the Beast!AU you never knew you needed.)

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