Fics like teenage nightmares commit atrocities

“Tsushima Shuuji,” Chuuya reads out loud. “A bright, optimistic young man with a pep in his step and a zest for life. Hang on–is this referring to you?” “Unfortunately,” Dazai laments, sighing dramatically. “You just got away with ‘science nerd’ and ‘soccer player,’ but I’m supposed to be an artist! I hate art! It’s useless!” “Shut the fuck up. That’s not the problem here. You? A ‘zest for life?’ Looking forward to each new morning? Hah! Rimbaud would sooner come back to life.” Dazai turns to Chuuya with the barest facsimile of a smile painted over his lips. “I,” he says sweetly, “am going to gut you open like a fish.” Dazai and Chuuya are seasoned mafiosos at the ripe old age of almost-seventeen. They’ve fought gang wars, interrogated prisoners, and done all manner of unspeakable things. Now, they face their greatest challenge yet: going (undercover) to a real high school. With regular teens (who may or may not be desperately trying to get them to kiss). One thing’s for sure: this school is unprepared for the absolute calamity that is Double Black. Written for the SKK Big Bang 2022 feat. art by videogamelover99 & beta'ed by Airini.

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