Fics like A Bloody Idiot

Draco peeked through the ornamental grasses bursting out of the top of the bouquet as he approached her small stoop. He couldn’t see where he was going, and thus there was a geospatial disagreement between his left foot and the top step, and in a show of solidarity, Draco’s body entered into a geospatial disagreement with the rest of the stoop, in this order: 1. His eye smashed into Granger’s doorknob; 2. His head smashed into Granger’s door; 3. His knee nearly smashed Granger’s cat; 4. Granger’s cat’s teeth and claws pierced Draco’s skin; 5. The bouquet, having caused all of this, evaded responsibility by removing itself from the situation entirely, flying out of his arms and landing in some undetermined location. --- OR: Draco discovers an idiot-proof way to get Granger's attention.

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