Fics like curiosity killed the cat (but satisfaction brought it back)

“Uh,” Hendery bravely raises his hand, like they’re back in school. “Sorry, I must have missed the memo. Yangyang, is Renjun your ‒ ” At that exact moment, the chorus to Cardi B’s WAP begins to blare. Yangyang pulls his phone out of his pocket and squints down at the screen. “Ah, shit, sorry guys. I have to take this. I’ll be right back!” He leaves, phone pressed to his ear. The silence that follows lasts precisely as long as it takes for the door to the pantry to swing shut. “So,” Hendery says after a beat. “We all agree that we can’t tell whether Renjun is Yangyang’s cat or boyfriend, right?” (Or: That one 'wife or dog' Brooklyn 99 cold open, but make it 'cat or boyfriend'.)

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