Fics like dread | hope

Believe it or not, Gaon is not an idiot. He is naive, perhaps, in that he does not know the fine arts of stringing someone else along on puppet strings, but he is not so oblivious that he can’t feel them being pulled as he moves. Some people assume he is naive because he lets these things happen to him. He prefers to give people the benefit of the doubt, because he knows he won’t be treated as kindly without it. People have agendas. Agendas change. That includes him. Everyone wants something, and sometimes you need to to work together to get what you both want. That doesn’t make him oblivious. Selfish, perhaps. Gaon has never been good at recognizing when to stop. He pushes with questions, with actions, with words until something happens. His professor beat his motorcycle to pieces, Soohyun slapped him across the face, his parents— Well. You get the idea. But Gaon knows that what he wants is reckless. He’s an adrenaline junkie, perhaps he always has been. Sure, it’s certainly gotten more self-destructive over the years, but he remembers getting scolded for being so careless with his one life. They never got it quite right, though.

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