Fics like My body is here and I am inside

It never really stopped, even when his head was melting at the seams and life itself felt like a bullet wound. Lahey haggled him. Randy always seemed to want to know where he was- using those damned binoculars so much it made the man's skin crawl. Ricky and Bubbles didn’t count but they were suffocating whenever he “got like that” (Ricky’s own words, for lack of better ones.) "Like that" meant swallowing down nausea while his head throbbed and the boys kept asking him what the hell was wrong. He didn’t know.

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