Fics like This Old House

Inspired by this tumblr post by the-mighty-octavius: Newly divorced Larry Daley finds a house out in the country that is selling remarkably cheap. However, when he moves in, he finds that it went cheap for a reason: Teddy, the ghost of the original owner of the house, still haunts the building. Sacagawea, an Earth spirit, wanders the grounds, making it impossible for him to grow a tidy garden. Not one, but two swarms of fairies, led by Octavius and Jedediah, feud noisily over the rights to live in his bushes. A homicidal troll named Attila constantly waits outside to chase him across the grounds. One of the garden statues keeps demanding gum from him and calling him “dum-dum”. A bunch of goblins keep playing with fire on his property, so that he’s constantly worried that they’re going to set the whole place ablaze. ((I can’t think of anything for the Civil War Guys. Sorry.)) And last, but not least, there seems to be an insane cat-creature (later found to be named Ahkmenrah) locked in the toolshed. He can hear it yowling and scratching to get out, but was warned never to do so or else risk getting torn apart.

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