Fics like hit and run

“Pick me up,” Ed demands, when they call to hash out the first act of this brand new shitspiral circus. “I know you got a car. I’m a classy date, I ain’t cheap.” “We’re supposed to be giving at least a passing try at discretion,” Mustang says, sounding distracted. “Per the rumors, I picked you for your legs. Use them.” Ed gapes at the phone. “Legs? Legs? I haven’t got ‘legs’! There’s no fucking plural -”

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