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Sasuke has a type. It’s blond, stupid, and… ...It’s Naruto. Okay, fine, it’s Naruto. Unfortunately his best friend is 1. not gay and 2. a simp for goth girls, so Sasuke is stuck finding a replacement to sleep with, rejecting Naruto’s drunken advances, and being a good friend. It's an uphill battle of monstrous proportions and Sasuke just wishes he could take the easy way out by shoving his five years of pining off a cliff. Instead, he ends up wearing all black after a photoshoot gone wrong and Naruto shows him firsthand how deep his affinity for goths really runs, and the uphill battle just gets that much harder.

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