Fics like Eye of the Needle

It's like being buried at the bottom of a very deep, very dark well. Castiel has lived enough, sinned enough, for the weight of his mistakes to pin him flat in the darkness. It's shame and guilt and grief and each memory anchors him with a razor specificity, there in the lightless silence. This is how it works, he supposes. His own thoughts will devour him alive until he sips oblivion by choice, out of sheer desperation, and the void will know peace at last. But that was the bargain. He took that upon himself. His choice. Choice, he thinks, and would laugh if he still had a mouth to laugh with. Freedom is a length of rope. Then, after what could have been many eternities or just one, a pang of agony comes that isn't his own. * Or: the one where Castiel saves himself.

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