Fics like Be Gay, Do Crimes, Turn in Your Homework

Post-Merrick, The Old Guard goes to college, is domestic, deals with some loose ends, and everyone gets a happy ending. “I know you’re all as old as dirt, but I’m only 25,” Nile says. “I want to go out.” “Pardon,” Joe says. “Andy is the only one who is as old as dirt.” “Thank you, Joe,” Andy says. “I, on the other hand,” Joe continues, “am as old as… a Bristlecone Pine. Or perhaps a well-preserved and striking Obelisk from the Axum empire, stolen by Mussolini's fascist soldiers in the 1930s, and finally repatriated to Ethiopia in 2002.” “That’s weirdly specific,” Nile says. “You should major in archeology this time, my love,” Nicky says. “Mm.” Joe presses an absent kiss to Nicky’s temple. “There’s a thought. And I’m sure you aren’t suggesting it just because you want me to dress like that Indiana Jones.” “Of course not. Though I would not object,” Nicky says serenely.

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