Fics like if rome hadn't fallen

“If you or I were a woman,” he continues, tilting his head the other way as he adjusts his grip on the pencil, “We’d be married by now.” The Captain’s body doesn’t react. He remains in his chair, rod-straight back, paperwork set out in neat, soldierly rows, pen in hand, ink dripping leisurely onto the table. The Captain’s mind splits down the middle with a deafening crack, paints itself red, ignites like a bonfire, throws itself off a cliff, dissolves into ash, jumps in front of a hurtling locomotive, steps off a fighter jet without a parachute and does a million other things besides.

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