Fics like it's no joke, darling

"Are they actual children?" Nile demands on the afternoon she finds an honest-to-God whoopie cushion on one of the dining chairs. “They’re a pair of men who have been perpetually 30-something for a thousand years,” Andy says reasonably. Sometime in the last two days she found where Nile hid the vodka and is now shamelessly drinking it straight from the bottle. “What do you think?” Or: the Old Guard recovers from London and develops a spot of cabin fever, Andy is the worst patient in the world, Joe and Nicky are an old married couple, and Nile starts to figure out this immortality thing. Also there are pranks.

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