Fics like You've Got a Face for Radio

The closest Alastor's ever gotten to romance comes in the form of—in order of increasing hilariousness—a couple of botched youthful attempts at kissing, cheap mass-produced smut comics, and the wildly entertaining tales of other people's sordid affairs. He's never wanted sex. He's never wanted love. He's never seen a problem with this. It's taken about a century, but he's pleasantly surprised to discover that the rest of the world is finally starting to catch up with his perspective. More than anything else, he’s pleased that these new modern attitudes have given him extra opportunities for bad puns.

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