Fics like you, me, and that bitch we call destiny

Destiny has its eye on Bill. Which, naturally, means Dipper has to keep an eye on Bill. It's unfair and annoying and a waste of Dipper's precious time, until it isn't. "Great-Uncle Ford," says Dipper, hoping his uncle will miraculously wake up to how insane this is, "I don't want to babysit a weapon of mass destruction." Ford exhales heavily through his nose--the more dignified cousin of a sigh. "Don't think of it as babysitting, my boy. He's the same age as you. Think of it as... peer leading." He, conspicuously, doesn't say anything on the weapon of mass destruction point. Dipper takes that as a bad sign.

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