Fics like please stop assuming that anyone remotely similar to me is a test-tube baby

There is a teen—possibly Uchiha but he doesn’t remember any of clan’s brats wearing such goggles nor with that chakra signature, he knows all his clansmen’s signatures and this one feels like a campfire in the midst of a sprawling forest—seated on the couch, fidgeting with what seems to be his uniform and the ends of his Konoha hitaiate. Hashirama looms over his desk with an ominous air, his forehead on his interlocked fingers and hiding his face. What the fuck is going on.

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