Fics like Trashmouth for Sale, Gently Used

“Richie is an award winning comedian and voice actor, originally from Derry, Maine. He’s a six-foot-two Pisces, and in case dinner goes very badly- CPR certified,” the auctioneer recites joylessly, while Richie is in stitches at her side. “Richie enjoys long walks on the beach, 1-800 number jingles, and debating the civil rights of robots. You can select any venue in New York for your dinner, but Richie says he especially enjoys Thai food and frozen custard and describes himself as a bottomless pit-” Richie taps the auctioneer's shoulder and leans into the mic. “That’s a typo. That should say just ‘bottom’.” - While Richie gets roped into a bachelor auction, Eddie struggles with his own worth.

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