Fics like a grave mistake

Essa grinned, leaned forward. “I think that Mr. Fell’s husband is a vampire!” That pronouncement got immediate and violent reactions from both of her friends. “What?” Rory screeched. At the same time, Sev exclaimed, “That’s not possible!” “Did he try to drink your blood?” Rory asked eagerly, leaning forward onto her hands. “Nah,” Essa replied, not wanting to admit that that hadn't even occurred to her. “Then, what?” Sev demanded. “Why d’you think he’s a vampire?” “He dresses all in black,” Essa explained with the air of someone very wise generously dispensing their wisdom. “And everyone knows that only vampires dress all in black. And he was wearing sunglasses indoors, probably on account of his vampire mind-control powers. And he was sleeping during the day, which was prolly cuz vampires are nocturnal. And he has fangs. Saw ‘em myself. There’s obviously no other explanation, ‘cept he’s a vampire.” [Some of Crowley and Aziraphale's new neighbors get the wrong impression]

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