Fics like Everyone But You

It was at his 60th centennial review—Crowley had prepared a grandiose speech about his work in the Cold War (not him at all), gas prices, and the M-25—when Beelzebub walked into their office and slapped a file into his hands before slouching behind their desk. Which, not-so-shockingly, was made of bones. “A seduction?” Crowley said, looking down at the file with a frown. He hadn’t been given a seduction in nearly two thousand years. “Not just any seduction,” Beelzebub said as they flopped into their chair and folded their hands in their lap. Crowley flipped open the file and then nearly dropped it. “You want me to seduce an angel? Why?”

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