Fics like Chuck Roast

“Nobody’s threatening anybody,” short guy growled. “Uh, I hate to say it, but the man has a point,” tall guy said. “I mean, I’m hacking his panic room right now, that’s a pretty threatening action. If I were him I’d feel very threatened.” “Thank you,” Bucky said triumphantly, before belatedly realizing exactly what the man had just said. “And stop hacking my panic room!” “Mmm hmm, okay,” tall guy said agreeably, a second before the the panic room locks disengaged with a dull clunk. Bucky careened away from the door and grabbed the closest weapon at hand, which happened to be the ladle he’d been holding when he’d made his slapdash retreat from the kitchen. It still had some romesco on it. Maybe he could fling a bit of spicy sauce into the intruders’ eyes before they murdered him. Sure, he’d still be dead, but at least they’d have to break out the eye drops. Vengeance would be his.

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