Fics like a bullet for cinderella (so he can shoot shitty dazai dead)

Dazai gets captured by the enemy. To annoy his kidnappers pass time while waiting to be rescued, he tells them a story about the Port Mafia Kingdom and its Prince Chuuya who’s working so hard to look for his soulmate… The Port Mafia Kingdom holds a ball for Prince Chuuya to find his soulmate. Why is a kingdom named Port Mafia, you ask? Because that’s just how the mafia works. Why does a prince need help with his lovelife, you ask? “The Prince must be so terribly ugly, dumb and…” Peasant Dazai—who snuck into the party because he heard there are sturdy chandeliers, which could make for great suicide props—pauses for maximum impact, as though he’s about to impart a token of great wisdom, before he continues with, “…and very, very short.” [NOW COMPLETE as of 10/17/19]

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