Fics like if i look back i am lost

Madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Jon Snow is both mad and great and when he loses the one thing he did not realize he wanted, he finds out for himself. Post season 8/episode 4/beginning episode 5 canon divergence-- in which certain plotlines should have been explored to make more sense. Warning: major character death (?) and some bloody/violent scenes-- read the tags before you scream at me in comments. **COMPLETE**

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