Fics like cars don't talk back

Aziraphale’s eyebrows went up. “Jealous?” he repeated incredulously. “Of what?” His barber shrugged slightly. “That he seems to have more time for his car than for you?” he suggested. Aziraphale made an indignant sound. “I’m not jealous of Crowley’s car,” he said firmly. “That’s ridiculous. It’s just that he spends so much time out driving, so much that he never has time for lunch with me anymore, and he defends it like a dedicated guard dog, and he lavishes it with affection like I’ve never seen him treat anyone, and— oh, good lord." [Aziraphale isn’t jealous of Crowley’s Bentley, really. Because that would be ridiculous.]

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