Fics like Lunchtime in Hell

"Gosh, is that a bikini?" said my godmother. "Aren't you brave." Aw. Her capacity for saying something that sounds like a compliment but is actually spectacularly cruel will never cease to amaze me. All of the words individually are perfectly polite, but when you put them together you create a masterpiece in passive aggression. Sometimes it takes me a couple of hours to work out that's she's insulted me. She should teach a class. Not quite knowing how to respond, I looked at the priest, and tried not to pout. He gave a sympathetic grimace and finished his mouthful of wine. "Not as brave as explaining erotic artwork to teenagers, I bet." She looked devastated. Brilliant.

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