Fics like Through the Wilderness

"Steven, that was a horse, it was not a unicorn because unicorns don't exist. Can we please focus on the much larger problem at hand here? We are lost in the Irish countryside with no food, dead phones, and the only person we've seen for hours was a creepy lady in a cart. A cart, Steven. Don't focus on what the crazy cart lady told you, focus on the fact that if we're lost for much longer it won't matter if it was a unicorn or not because I'm gonna find it and I'm gonna eat the fucking horse!" "Whoa," Steven says. "That is the most I've ever heard you modulate your voice, you're really freaked out, huh?"

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