Fics like these hallowed halls

“Bowtruckles,” Yoongi announces with grandeur, “Can suck my dick.” The Hufflepuff table is next to the Slytherins; Hoseok looks over and winks, along with Jimin’s second-year friend (Taesung? Taehyung?) but a group of girls giggle, and one of the Hufflepuff prefects rolls his eyes, piecrust stuck to his chin. “Just because the bowtruckles can suck your dick doesn’t mean they will,” says Gerry. “Bowtruckles have caused me so much emotional damage in the last hour that they should suck my dick just to make up for it.” Or, Yoongi goes to Hogwarts, and meets Jeongguk, and grows up.

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