Fics like Conventions of Modern Relationships

When it's your not-materialistic friend's birthday but you haven't celebrated it in like 5000 years since you both died and you're not really sure what to get them and before you buy them a present, they give you a tortoise because your house is too big and empty and they think you need a long-lived animal to keep you company. (Direct sequel to "A Balancing Act, or a Courtship Dance (we're not sure which)")

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