Fics like garden child

“Thorin and I are expecting a child,” Bilbo announced. Kíli choked on a bite of bread, Fíli spat wine clear across the table, Tauriel dropped the bowl of potatoes in her hands, and Dís just about fell off her chair. “Pardon me,” Kíli said, a little hoarsely, “but don’t you need a, er, a uterus for that?” “No. You see, Hobbit children are grown in the garden,” Bilbo answered. “What, right next to the cabbages?” said Kíli. The biggest difference between Hobbits and Dwarves was not, as most people assume, the lack of beards or the size of feet. In truth, the difference was in the method of their birth. While Dwarves did things the old fashioned way, with their womenfolk carrying their children for nine months, Hobbits made use of a single seed, two locks of hair, and fertile soil. This, of course, means that where Dwarves need both one male and one female to bring new life to the world, Hobbits need no such restriction.

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