Fics like this is an intervention

He’s become a master at subverting catastrophic arguments before they get the chance to happen. Living with Bill and Fran, who scream at each other as much as they scream for each other, and Babe and Julian, who have all the self control of brain-damaged puppies, he’s learned to be the calm in the storm. He’s the level head. The mediator. The one everyone else goes to when they have problems. He hates it. If that’s what it take to keep peace in the household, however, Spina is willing to do it. If only to prevent a homicide, which would seriously interrupt his schedule, and that’s something anyone studying medicine really can’t afford. It would just be so much easier if he weren’t living with four of the most stubborn people on planet earth. Every so often, it becomes necessary to tie your friends to kitchen chairs. Just... just do it.

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