Fics like your hair is so soft...for a scouser

The England National Team has a new manager, and the new manager has ideas --as all new managers do-- that will definitely surely absolutely turn the team around this time and do it for good. Except this time the idea revolves around encouraging teammates to bond through not-so-random rooming assignments. Otherwise known as, is this Soviet Russia why am I being made to share quarters with a bloody Scouser I will have none of it AU

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