Fics like This Is A Story About Vulcan Jizz, And How You Shouldn't Program It Into The Replicator, No Matter How Delicious It Is

Originally posted here for the prompt "SLIGHTLY GROSS? I DON'T KNOW. Vulcan ejaculate is coppery, sweet, and - Kirk is ashamed to say it - kind of really delicious. Kirk gets a little obsessed with the taste, even though oh God that is totally gross in so many ways, and starts to crave it at really inopportune times. In this universe, the replicator has been on board the Enterprise since long before Picard, so, naturally, Kirk asks the replicator for a... very... particular beverage. Yeah, really good idea, there, Kirk. a) Someone walks in on him asking for a big heaping mug of Vulcan jizz (McCoy or Uhura plz plz plz) b) The replicator gets broken due to some bullshit science of your choosing and can ONLY make Vulcan jizz, much to the annoyance and confusion of the crew c) All of the above."

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