Fics like A Classical Work of Paranormal Romance

He felt like the naked girl who'd just been a white wolf and the half-naked guy who'd just been a mangled corpse dragged into his barn by a wolf completely deserved his screaming. The ~magical~ turd-licking fence-fuckers masquerading as his classmates had been sneak-flirting with him for weeks. "Is my life actually a shitty supernatural romance?! Am I going to develop more special than you powers that somehow never matter half as much as who I fuck? Am I supposed to arbitrate your little game of which one of you is the sexiest alpha male by gracing them with my boy cooch?" -- now with sequel pesterlog silliness.

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